You know people say that this sort of adventure means you find yourself, and discover things you never knew you had inside you? Wel it’s true!
Last Saturday morning, we had some free time. Picture the scene. Sun is shining, music playing. Chris, Hattie and Bethan are outside and Beth is writing an E mail. So what was I doing, I hear you ask…
Was I relaxing in the sun?
Or maybe I was filling in my journal?
Reading my bible?
Sleeping?
In fact, none of the above! On this gloriously sunny morning, I choose to spend my free time…
Cleaning the kitchen!
I kid you not! This is my recreational activity of choice!
I’m getting a strange sense of satisfaction from cleaning and tidying up! It’s not good! What’s wrong with me?
Michael, you lucky lucky so ‘n’ so!
Comment by daz — 30 October, 2008 @ 5:48 pm
My name has been mentioned and therefore my ugly head has been reared! So Darren thinks I am a lucky so and so does he? I find this very interesting. Does he think that Nicola’s new cleaning binges are going to translate into a tidier surrounding in my current habitat? Or does he assume that one day Nicola and I will be living together and I will be reaping the rewards then? If his theory is based on the latter, I have my own reservations. Upon sitting down to articulate these concerns I have developed the Top Ten Reasons why cleanliness is not necessarily next to Godliness. I introduce them to you now:
1. Where on Earth has my other sock gone? If it is not on the bedroom floor or hallway banister, where I most carefully and diligently placed it in order that it should not get lost, where is it?
2. Defence of the realm! Not that I don’t love to have mother come and stay, how can I avoid it without the repelling agent that is my rubbish bags outside the front door?
3. When you’re watching television, do you really want a hoover blasting away in the background just as you are about to get to the bit where you found out who done it?
4. My stupid conscience. I mean, who really needs it anyway. If Nicola wants to go and tidy the house why should I feel guilty that I don’t!
5. Bit of a passion killer. Now I know you girls are saying that smelly sweaty rooms aren’t conducive to snuggly snoggly moments and I agree. However nor is being air freshened and dusted upon entering a room!
6. Now if we are having a snuggly snoggly moment (something which is most unlikely to ever happen again when Nicola reads this), but if we are actually having a snuggly snoggly moment, is it not a good idea to have the windows misty with dirt so that people on the street can’t look in on it?
7. What excuse am I going to have if I can’t say that whatever it is that I was supposed to do was lost in the mess that I no longer have!
8. I would also lose a training tool. Fighting my way through the wild unkempt grass in the garden has contributed to my fitness very well in the past.
9. Another favourite past time of mine is ruined! Inviting the Jehovah’s witness in and telling them to find a seat – but watch out for the used syringes.
10. What if Nicola wants to watch another chick flick? Where am I going to hide the DVD if the room is tidy?
I would be very interested to hear everyone’s thoughts and feelings on the subject. I therefore challenge you to convince me that I am wrong!
Comment by Michael Sharkey — 1 November, 2008 @ 12:51 pm
I wish to opose your list on behalf of Nicola and all women around the globe who enjoy being able to see their carpet with no empty pizza boxes or piles of dirty laundry strewn around. Here goes-
1. You’ve forgotten the welfare of those involved. The sock. It is always happier staying united with it’s brother whilst not on the foot.
2. There are other ways to keep your lodgings free of unwanted relatives. My personal favorite is to offer to cook for them, or, failing that, the traditional game of Charades always gets rid of them.
3.You could always use the volume switch, or even better, the OFF switch.
4. Stupid idea really… but couldn’t you help her?
5. I do not agree with this. Air-freshener can be expelled from a room by opening a window, the stench of men’s sweat seems to linger forever.
6. Don’t mean to sound patronising, but that’s what curtains are for!
7. Get a dog and blame him.
8. Problems with unkemppt lawns is the possibility that some evil cat has left his business there
9. Do what every other intellegent person does, don’t let them in!!
10. Go down the pub!
Hope this list has enlightened you and with this advice you will be fully prepared for life with the cleaning-mad Nicola.
Comment by Joy — 19 November, 2008 @ 5:04 pm